My boyfriend and I have been living together for about four years.  We have a one-year-old son and are both very active in his daily life.  To us, we have a perfect family, although we are not technically married.  We love each other very much and do plan to spend the rest of our lives together and have made that commitment to one another.  We would, however, like to wait until we are more financially stable to have a wedding ceremony as that can be quite expensive.  We recently rededicated our lives to Christ and are wondering if we are living in sin.  I believe that we are, but I am not sure what we should do about it.  Does God expect us to no longer live together, to rip our family apart and destroy our son’s happiness?  My boyfriend will not get married now as he does not believe we are living in sin as long as we are 100% committed to one another and have made a vow to one another and God that we plan to spend our lives only with one another.  I really want to live my life for God and I do in all ways but this.  I cannot imagine allowing this to destroy my family.  Please offer some advice.
Sincerely,
Mixed Emotions Mom

Dear Mixed Emotions Mom,

There is nothing more important to God than you, your boyfriend, and your child.  God loves us so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die for us (Jhn 3:16).  As a parent, can you imagine how deep His love for us must be to make such a sacrifice?

God wants what is best for us.  The best thing is for you and your boyfriend to get married.  Living together is wrong, and no matter how committed you are, it isn’t the same as being married.  In Jhn 4:18, Jesus told a woman that she was not married even though she was living with a man.  No matter how your boyfriend feels about you, he isn’t your husband.  Show him Jhn 4:18, and then ask him (since you said you are both committed to serving Christ) what he wants to do about it.

As far as the costs involved with getting married, you don’t have to have a big wedding – a quick trip to the courthouse is perfectly fine.  Save up and have a big party later.  A big, extravagant ceremony is just a luxury, but being married is an issue of morality.

God doesn’t want to rip families apart; He wants us to be saved and to build our lives upon a proper foundation – Jesus Christ and His Word (1 Cor 3:11).  It may seem like your life is working well now, but we can guarantee you that not listening to the Bible always makes things worse.  There are some things that your child doesn’t fully understand but that you, as the parent, realize are dangerous or important.  God is the same way.  You don’t see why it is so important to be married, but God says it is.  Will you trust Him, or will you trust yourself (Rom 10:17)?  The answer to that question will decide your future and set the tone for your life and for your son’s life (Pr 22:6).   SB