We have been attending the same church for seven or eight years.  We are not members but participate in all activities.  We contribute to the love offering, are called when we have prayer chains, and help provide food for a family if someone passes away.  We are included just like a church member, but when our grandson and father passed away, the church didn't provide us with a meal after the service as we do with everyone else.  We aren't members, but I don't think that is the problem because we have provided meals for the non-members that have lost family members.  We feel hurt that we have been overlooked twice.  We thought we were part of this church family; we provide services: i.e. our time to help with the grounds keeping, painting, planting, etc. out of our pocket to help our church out.  We don't ask for repayment or even tell what we do at times.  We do it to feel connected to the church.  Am I wrong in feeling like others have a problem with us, and should we find another church or stay and continue to worship God and do His will? Sincerely,
Persona Non Grata

Dear Persona Non Grata,

You should definitely always do God’s will, but you will have to decide whether staying where you are is, in fact, fulfilling God’s commands.  What does God say that we should do when others hurt our feelings?   If you really feel offended by someone, you should go and talk to them and, if at all possible, reconcile (Matt 5:23-24).  What you are talking about doesn’t sound like a Bible doctrine disagreement, but a personal (though legitimate) frustration.

However, we have to admit we are confused by the fact that you are so dedicated to this church and yet are not a member… is there something unscriptural about how the church is behaving?  Are they somehow failing to match up with God’s criteria for what the church should be (See “Finding the Church” and “Preacher Interrogation” to look at some of those criteria)?  If your reason for not placing your membership with this church is a Bible reason – then you should leave and find a faithful church to be a part of.  If the reason isn’t Biblical, then you should place your membership there.  There are no examples of christians in the Bible that weren’t members of a local church.  Even the apostle Paul, with all of his traveling, was a member of the church in Antioch (Acts 11:25-26).  Find a faithful group and commit to serving God with them.   SB